Quote of the 'Week'

"Men will always be mad, and those who think they can cure them are the maddest of all."
Voltaire
Discovering that someone has commented on one of my blogs is such a joyous feeling. Hint, bloody hint!

Thursday 29 October 2009

The important thing to take away from this lecture is that I now have four hats.

Afternoon, guv'nor.

I've been a bit lazy as of late, regarding my blogging duties, and for that I apologise. It's the same for my vlog and my webcomic. The thing is, I don't get paid for any of it. So yeah.

Anyhow, a lot has happened to me since my last entry, nearly a month ago. I went to London (twice), and have purchased two hats. I have started a new series of comics, and I've got some new pyjamas. I have befriended two bulldogs, and have lost a game of football with an eight-year-old girl.

But first things first.
Right. London.
London was, as ever, magnificent. The first time I went this month was for an Art school trip, so it only lasted for a day, and most of that time was spent wandering around galleries. Now, don't get me wrong, I like art, and I appreciate all types of art, but I could not help feeling a little bored, wandering around the National Gallery. Each painting was a masterpiece, a truly wonderful work of art, but there were simply too many paintings. I couldn't help adopting the 'seen one, seen them all' attitude as I ambled down the massive rooms, lined with Van Goghs and Rembrandts and Holbeins. I would pass one painting, a truly fantastic masterpiece, that the artist probably spent most of his life perfecting, and would go "mm, that's nice," as if I was browsing carpet samples at Floors To Go. You just can't appreciate the paintings when there are so many of them. You feel obliged to look at every single painting, and it stops you from really enjoying the visit. This was made worse by the fact that we walked everywhere, even though we were given a daycard for the London bloody Underground, and the weather was incredibly humid, so we were knackered by the time we reached the National Gallery. We'd walked from the Tate Modern, two miles away, and we'd enjoyed the Tate. It was quirky, it was interactive, and we weren't sweating buckets and breathless at that time.
Well, I gave up trying to see the whole of the National Gallery. I found that painting by Hans Holbein the Younger, with the French Ambassador and the Bishop (the one with the stretched skull), and sat on a nice, comfy leather bench, 'analysing' that for the whole half an hour I had before we had to meet up again at the entrance.

After that, though, we got to go off on our own, and I had a lovely milkshake in a cafe with my pal Owen. So the day wasn't too bad. And no trip to London can be regarded as anything other than magical.
I took some nice photos, and found a hat stall selling trilbys for a tenner, so I got a trilby. A jolly nice time.

The second trip to London was a birthday present from my aunt and uncle, but I had to bring my sister along. Nevertheless, we had all weekend to explore London, and the weather was nicer than last time, and we didn't have to go to any galleries, so it was certainly the better visit of the two.

On the first night, we went to the Royal Albert Hall to see the London Philharmonic Orchestra play Verdi's Requiem, which was wonderful. My sister spent the whole evening on her mobile, chatting to her friends on Facebook. Tut.
Turns out that the night after we were there, Robbie Williams was performing as part of the Electric Proms, which really helped hit home where we were. This was freakin' London!

Day Two found us at the Science Museum, exploring that 'Wallace and Gromit's A World of Cracking Ideas' Exhibition. I did enjoy that; most of it was for small kids, but they had some of the actual sets from the Wallace and Gromit films, so I got a few pictures of those. There was a section of the exhibition with benches and shelves, with lots and lots of lumps of plasticine for people to mould and sculpt and leave on the shelves. Being a bit of a plasticine connoisseur (I kid you not), I noticed how good their plasticine was, and asked a man if it was the same type of plasticine Aardman Animations uses (the company that make the W&G films). The man said yes, and so we sneakily pocketed the biggest lump we could find. I treasure that lump.

After the exhibition, we took a train down to Camden Market. This was on a Saturday, so it was absolutely packed. We spent pretty much the rest of the day there, but I found exactly what I wanted in the very first shop we went in. A bowler hat. In my size. And I haggled it down from £45 to £20. And the market itself! Bloody hell! It goes on forever! We went under a bridge, the underside of which was covered with stalls and food stands and eccentrics. It was hard to find the exit. You couldn't see sunlight in some areas. These places seem to be a law unto themselves - the market is like an abandoned garden, everything growing to extraordinary sizes and consuming the entire area. What a great day. A great day, punctuated by a slap-up Chinese meal in Chinatown. Yum.

Day Three was going home day. We had to leave our rented apartment early in the morning, so the only interesting thing we did was stop at a diner on the way home. It was fantastic - it was like stepping into America, in the 1950s. They had everything: Fifties music playing on a jukebox, antique attractions in the entrance, old posters promoting Elvis gigs, and unlimited coffee refills. When I first heard about this phenomenon a few years back, it was met with the response: 'Yeah, but the coffee's awful.' Well, I must say, the coffee was lovely. Proper, Douwe Egberts coffee. And I could have as much as I wanted. I had three cups, and I still feel thoroughly disappointed that I didn't exploit this wonder further.
And the pancakes! Wow! I had a breakfast that consisted of bacon, eggs, hash browns, toast and pancakes covered in syrup. On one plate. I nearly fainted from excitement, but that may have been due to my immense hunger at the time.

LONDON STORY OVER

Linking back to what I said earlier about not getting paid for any of this, I am doing requests for money. You tell me what you want drawing (within the realms of decency), and I draw it for you. I work in a variety of mediums: pencil, pen, digitally,... no, wait, that's about it. I work in three mediums, and it's up to you which medium you want me to employ when doing your picture.
I charge £5 for fairly basic stuff, like portraits or one-picture cartoons, but I charge more as the level of complexity increases. Quite reasonable, I'm sure you'll agree. I'm sure my prices will skyrocket once I actually need money in my pocket, so grasp this opportunity while it's still affordable!

In a similar vein to that last shameless self-promotion, I have started a new series of comic strips. By this, I'm not referring to the webcomics; those are public domain, and I demand no cash for them. I'm referring to a series of cartoon strips that I intend to publish in a book at some point. I have only showed them to friends, for feedback - they are not on the internet. The only place most people will be able to see it will be in this book when it comes out, whenever that'll be. So when you see it in the shops, buy it. It won't be for a long time - I'm still adding to it, and I haven't thought of a title for the series yet, so it's still in its early stages. I'll keep you posted on that.

The other things about getting new pyjamas, dog-sitting two bulldogs and losing a game of football to an eight-year-old aren't worth elaborating on. I'll just let the thought of me, in my pyjamas, being slide-tackled by a little girl and mauled by dogs, entertain you as I bid you adieu.

Friday 2 October 2009

Who let the vlogs out?

'Sup there, my dearest peeps.

I have literally spent the last ten minutes with my cursor hovering over the 'New Post' button, waiting for inspiration to hit me. That's how dedicated I am to providing you lot with something to read every now and again - I have taken to sitting motionless for literally minutes at a time. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

Anyhoo, I decided to write this blog post to inform you dear readers as to why I haven't posted a vlog up in a while. I haven't given up on the idea, if that's what you were thinking - the last episode, 'Photographs, Chipolatas and Housewives', got overall positive reviews - but I haven't really been busy, either. It's just that what with school and such, rare is the occasion when I can sit at home and do a vlog, safe in the knowledge that my dad isn't peering 'round the corner of the living room door with a stupid grin on his face. And nothing unnerves me more than people watching me as I work. I simply cannot function in that situation. Except for when I'm at school, obviously. That would be a disaster, if the presence of teachers made me incapable of working.

But I digress. The point is, I will be doing a vlog soon. I've had some splendid responses for Word of the Day, so that's staying as a running... thing... in the episodes. It's funny - I've had loads and loads of potential Words of the Day suggested to me, whereas for the second episode I had about three suggestions, all from people I knew personally. It just shows how quickly you can attract attention on something like YouTube.
The trouble is, I'm a terrible decision-maker. Faced with all these words, all of which are top-notch, I simply cease to be able to pick a favourite. There's also the small factor of my insufferable niceness. I feel really awful, having to reject lots of perfectly good suggestions for one fairly random choice for Word of the Day. It's probably going to be random because I find every nomination not without its own unique quirks, and I'm far too spineless to pick one that is superior to any other. I might choose a word that is easy to base a section of the vlog around - we shall see.

So farewell for now, blog-gogglers. I part with this quote from Barry Goldwater:
'If you don't mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream.'

I'll let you mull over that one.
I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!