Quote of the 'Week'

"Men will always be mad, and those who think they can cure them are the maddest of all."
Voltaire
Discovering that someone has commented on one of my blogs is such a joyous feeling. Hint, bloody hint!

Saturday 15 November 2008

Tuesday 21 October 2008

Thursday 16 October 2008

Where's Will?

Tuesday 7 October 2008

Another Long-Awaited Ramble.

I know how much those of you who have the attention span of toddlers like my rambles, and I can churn them out fifty to the dozen, so I decided to half-heartedly provide you lot with another one. But, in my inimitable forgetfulness and half-assed approach to life, I have either forgotten what to say or cannot be bothered to come up with anything beforehand. I don't know which, as I have forgotten. I think. So I will improvise. Now, this may very well mean that this ramble will have very little structure / no structure at all (delete where applicable), so hold on to your hats. If you haven't got a hat, hold on to your hair. If you're bald, where the bloody hell's your hat? Honestly.

Right - where was I? Ah yes. Also bear in mind that I virtually shut down when cyber-rambling and let my brain do all the talking, a bit like a mental auto-pilot. By mental, of course, I mean in the mind, and not MENTAL mental, goo-goo ga-ga wappy dappy flumple shwoob humberdumpster fandango off thy rocker trolleycase mental. But that would be cool, especially on an aeroplane. Because I expect that on an aeroplane, travelling at hundreds of miles per hour, hundreds of feet up, the auto-pilot would be the very last thing that one would want to suddenly go goo-goo ga-ga wappy dappy flumple shwoob humberdumpster fandango off thy rocker trolleycase mental, as this could cause the aeroplane to fall out of the sky and land suddenly and painfully and somewhat vertically into a field.

And paragraphs will be limited. I know that this is already the third paragraph, but quite frankly I could speak bulls**t for England, so it needs splitting up into bite-sized pieces. Well, bite-sized for Cherie Blair or that lass on the X Factor that had a mouth like a cave. You get the idea with that.
But as I said earlier (fully appreciating the fact that this very sentence reiterates what I'm going to say next), I do ramble somewhat, and for first-time readers this could come as a bit of a shock. Don't worry. Just sit in a dark room for twenty minutes and practise breathing exercises.

What exactly are breathing exercises, by the way? I understand the other exercises. People go to gymnasiums to run absolutely nowhere on a reverse escalator with no steps to build up their leg muscles. And they do this so that their legs are stronger, and their legs strengthen because the body says: "Oh, hello, the legs are working a bit hard. Better build up the muscles." And they get better at running. People lift weights. Their arms begin to look like condoms stuffed with walnuts, and they can lift heavy things easier. But breathing exercises? Why would anyone want to breathe better than anyone else, and how in the name of the good Lord is that a desirable characteristic? Are people that do breathing exercises the only people that know of some sort of secret about the earth's depleting oxygen? "Oh, we must learn to breath better than other people so that we can have all the oxygen and build a better race of humans with bigger lungs, and opera singing will become a common hobby and everyone will become deaf by the sound of everyone on the planet singing Nessun Dorma at the same time. Oh yes." Breathing exercises. Don't make me laugh.

I am going to stop typing now and go to bed, hoping in vain that the bloody nubs that are the remains of my two index fingers will heal by morning.

Cheerio.

Monday 6 October 2008

A quick update on the last post

People I know will no doubt be reading this profound philosophy (read the last entry) and saying:
"Ah, I know what made Will think of that - Harvey Dent / Two-Face, the popular Batman villain and secondary villain / hero in the latest Batman film, 'The Dark Knight' (a film I forgot to review - sorry), with its comparisons with life and death, flesh and bone."

Clever thought, generic analysis close friend person, but wrong.

I actually thought it up earlier today whilst in the shower. I spent so long in the shower that it reminded me of a true story somebody told me (probably God-among-history-teachers, Mister Smith) about a man who died in the shower. People didn't notice his absence for quite some time; his front door was locked, his bills were automatically paid out through his bank account for a while, and the only thing that was suspicious was his extraordinarily high water bills. Weeks passed, and his money began to run out. People became suspicious, and the police came round to his house to investigate. They forced their way in and found his corpse in the shower, his flesh eroding away from the water from the shower head.

I absent-mindedly wondered if I was spending so long in the shower that my skin would erode away, and that made me arrive at the postulation of how grotesque a partially-decomposed head looks.

Cue the profound 'quote'.

Okay, not a particularly nice way of coming up with a really clever-sounding thing to say, but you can't win them all.

Pip pip.

I just thought of something really profound

I don't want to forget this, so I am immortalising this in the form of a blog post.
(By the way, I'm going to put it in quotation marks and italic because it'll look like a quote, and that is how most profound things are seen.)

"A human head, in its unassuming completeness, is not an image of particular fear in the human mind - an image to send a little shiver down one's lower back - and nor, despite its synonymity with death, is, in all honesty, the human skull. But a decomposing head, or a similar item where both elements of head and skull are visible, there is an image of terror, an image at which one may very well recoil in fear and disgust. For this, the halfway transition between two extremes, life and death, indelibly links the two, and makes us all too aware of our own mortality."
- William Wivell

Tuesday 16 September 2008

A new cartooooooon.


Comments would be appreciated. And yes, it is somewhat random.

Monday 15 September 2008

Late Breaking News

Very late breaking news, for two reasons:
1. This news was breaking ages ago, well before a couple of earlier posts
2. I haven't posted anything on this blog for yonks

Ahem.
I, William Wivell, have substituted my oversized spectacles for a nicer pair, thereby destroying any continuity concerning any pictures of me and my description of myself on this lovely blog.
What a shame: I will have to redo every picture, with my new glasses. Well it's worth a try.
Tootle-pip, eh what.

Saturday 26 July 2008

I have neglected you. I am so sorry.

Apologies to you from me to you.
From me.
Anyhoo, I am here today to show you a few pictures I have graciously provided for that uber-gigglesome website thing, icanhascheezburger.com. It's a damn funny site, and it is now 0.0000000001% funnier, thanks to me.
Look...
















Tally-ho.

Wednesday 25 June 2008

Th'Incredible 'Ulk Review

I have been neglecting my duty as a blogger recently, thereby forcibly causing you lot to neglect your duties of blog-goggling.
Well we can't have that now, can we?

The answer is no.

You know what I saw the other day? Well, I'll tell you.
I saw The Incredible Hulk. 'Can you summarise the film in four or less words?' I hear you ask. No, I can not. And furthermore, I shan't try.

All that needs to be said is that the film was very good. Even my godfather, who represents every male moviegoer with slightly different tastes to me, liked it, saying that 'you never felt bored, although the fight scenes were a little bit over the top.'

My godfather is wrong.
The fight scenes were fast-paced and city-shattering. And this is what you want when you go and see a Hulk film. Honestly, how could he not expect high levels of violence when he is going to see a film about a man who turns into a green, nine-foot berserker when he gets too excited who has to save New York from an even bigger monster? A few bouts of fisticuffs were somewhat inevitable, does one not think?

And it wasn't all violence. The love story between Bruce Banner (Hulk) and Betty Ross (not Hulk) was good, and the fact that Bruce becomes somewhat volatile when his adrenaline goes too high meant that love scenes were a no-no, providing not only a bit of humour but keeping it a 12A, saving the younger viewers from having to cover their eves whilst the lead characters snuggle.

The characters were believable, too. Emil Blonsky, the chap that becomes the bigger monster (the Abomination), was a scarily obsessive character whose arrogance you loved to hate. General Ross was a good character, but bad. As in he was a baddie, but he was good as a film character. Ahem.

Right. You get the idea. Good film. Sorted.

I'm not going to conform to some unwritten movie review rule that it needs a conclusion because I'm my own man!

Toodle-pip

Thursday 12 June 2008

Another ramble

I know that I posted a ramble yestrday, but I enjoy doing them and feedback tells me that you enjoy reading them. So here I am, posting another rambling entry for you to lap up like the domesticated animals you are.

Today I will be talking about the weather.
As I live in England I have had a lot of experience with the weather. That is, rain doesn't bother me and nor does the sun. Much. I don't mean that I have had a lot of experience with the weather in a professional context:
"Yes, Mister Wivell, your CV seems up to scratch, and I hear that you have a lot of experience with the weather. Well, I'm really rather impressed, Mister Wivell, you start your job as Lord of Weather next Tuesday."

Recently, the weather has been rather unusual where I live, in that one day it rained and another day it didn't (seriously!). What I mean by this is that it was really wet, but then really dry, and then really wet again. I don't mean unusual in the sense that it rained doner kebabs and the sun was a big cinnamon apple pie radiating spicy fruitiness over the world. Not at all. Don't make that mistake, people! You may very well make the earth implode with your misinterpretings, so stop it.

Right, where was I? Ah, yes, cinnamon apple pies. I love cinnamon apple. I don't think that there is a nicer flavour combination. Well, maybe there is, but I can't bring it to mind. Okay, cinnamon apple is the nicest flavour combination that I can remember at this precise moment. And that's just dandy. Nobody says dandy nowadays, do they? I think it's because they named a comic 'The Dandy' in 1937 (oh yes, I know my trivia) and it became more widely known as a comic than as a synonym to the word 'good'. Poor 'dandy'. Let's form a foundation to support forgotten synonyms: the NSPFS - the National Society for the Prevention of the Fogetting of Synonyms. Or the Protectors Of Often-Forgotten Synonyms (POOFS).

Auf Wiedersehen.

Wednesday 11 June 2008

Apologies for my disgraceful lateness

As the title says, apologies for my disgraceful lateness.
To make up for this, I will provide you one of those rambles you few loyal readers love so much.
But how to start, how to start...

...

Oh, I know. I'll talk about Microsoft vs. Apple. Now, I know that it sounds like a geeky thing to say, a topic with very little potential for humour.
That it is. But my rambles tend to drift off and merge seamlessly into totally unrelated topics, and much of the humour lies there.
Ahem.
I personally think that Macs are better computers than PCs. Sure, they don't have the right hand click option, but 'tis a miniscule price to pay for such a wonderful contraption.
Let's face it. Most of us use computers to play games or to access and/or manipulate media. Okay, Macs aren't very good for games, as not many games are released on the Mac as well as the PC, but it's media facilities are out of this world.
Well, not really out of this world. I mean, the Apple Corporation is situated on this planet (unlike Microsoft - I have reason to believe that Bill Gates has a secret evil Moon base). And think of the price! If Apple was situated on, like, a crater on Mercury, all the development software and stuff would cost a lot more to send to Earth than it does currently. Mainly because sending something from Earth to Earth , if you put everything in perspective bearing in mind the rest of the Universe, doesn't cost that much. Virtually nothing. And the internet connection would be crap; say an Apple employee situated in an office on Mercury (there might be a colony, you know, so that he has his family nearby and doesn't get lonely - a bit like an RAF base) wants to send an email to an employee containing some very important files concerning something to do with work - say, software designs for a program you can plug in to your computer that harnesses the power of that moment of mild annoyance when you realise that a website's server cannot handle your request (a powerful, but underused, energy source) to generate electricity to power a little oven that makes you muffins to eat whilst surfing the net - but the distance from Earth to Mercury means that the data is corrupted along the way. Sweet mercy! The designs might be misinterpreted as designs for a mild annoyance-powered oven that doesn't make muffins, but giant man-eating croissants! The Mercury division of the Apple Corporation must be boycotted! A special boycotting agency must be created to combat this threat by cotting boys in every leading corporation! Space bases must be halted!
Also, I hear that Mercury is rather hot. You'll need some mighty fine air-conditioning in those offices. Even more money provided by your average working Joe through taxes. We'll all be poor! And then we won't be able to purchase top-of-the-line Apple products, which, as I said earlier, are better than Microsoft products (a fact that I seemed to deviate away from somewhat). What a terrible vicious circle of economy! Dear me!

Cheerio.

Sunday 4 May 2008

Let's have a go at reviewing a movie, shall we?

I think I should have a movie review up here every now and again.
So here goes. By the way, I won't swamp you with related showbiz gossip and mention other films that some of the actors have been in unless I can draw anything worthwhile from it.
Ahem.
Today, I went to see Iron Man.
I have to admit, it was a truly fantastic film. Now, I'm not one of those people that dedicate their lives to cramming their brains with facts and figures about a FICTIONAL comic book character, claim that they're said character's biggest fan, and then march outside a cinema in protest to a slight alteration to the character in the film adaptation. It's just not me, is all. Anyhow, even if I was, I don't think it would have mattered with this film. Although not an Iron Man fanatic, I do know a bit about the comic book Iron Man and as far as I can see, Jon Favreau (the director bloke) has done a pretty spiffy job keeping to the comic books. One reason may be that Iron Man looks cool no matter how he is portrayed, unlike many comic book heroes or villains (cough-green-goblin-cough) that look okay as a drawing but on the big screen just look downright silly. Iron Man didn't need changing. Tony Stark, the billionaire inventor that isn't anything like Bruce Wayne, didn't need changing. And so they didn't. And I must say that this film is, as far as comic book movies go, a masterpiece. These are my four favourite reasons that this film is great:

REASON ONE: Iron Man is a good comic to build a film around. The story is as engaging as any screenplay. Especially nowadays - they rather cleverly modernised the story by changing the terrorist capturers from a random bunch of arabs led by a bloke called Wong Chu to terrorists in Afghanistan (led by a bloke who may very well become 'The Mandarin', a villain from the comics, if the clues I picked up on serve me well), smartly linking the story to the recent conflicts, and there is a lot of potential for special effects.

REASON TWO: Robert Downey Jr. is perfectly cast as Tony Stark, as he is a lot like Tony Stark in real life. Downey Jr. went through a lot of trouble in the past, including cocaine abuse, but worked hard to get himself together and continue his acting career. Tony Stark matures as a person in this film, and Downey Jr. brings an extra level of believability to the role.

REASON THREE: The fantastic special effects. Seriously fantastic, visually. There is a bit where Iron Monger (the villain of the film, a bigger, badder version of Iron Man) runs through a lab, chasing Stark's secretary, 'Pepper' Potts. It is awesome. He is, like, ten feet tall, running at what must have been about seventy miles an hour, charging through the machinery of this lab, and the secretary only just escapes. It is a brilliant, scary moment in the film that really shows off how much money was put into this movie.

REASON FOUR: Samuel L. Jackson. Some of you may be going: 'So what?'. Sam Jackson plays Nick Fury, leader of the organisation called SHIELD. In the original comics, he was caucasian, with an eyepatch, a cigar and a crew cut. Then Marvel introduced the Ultimate version of the comics, revamped and modernised to prevent the comics becoming too old-fashioned. Nick Fury was changed to look like Samuel L. Jackson (with his full consent), still with the eyepatch. And then, at the end of Iron Man, after the credits, Sam Jackson himself steps out of the shadows as Nick Fury. It was inevitable - he was virtually being groomed for the role. But:

Nick Fury + Iron Man = Ever rising possibility of a movie based on the superhero team the Avengers.

Rumours of films based on Thor and Captain America (other members of the Avengers) are definitely around, so it looks likely.
So without sounding too much like a comic book nerd, I will just say that there may very well be a few cracking films out in the next few years that I wage with great anticipation.
Over and out.

Thursday 1 May 2008

Old men talking


By William Wivell (me)

Wednesday 30 April 2008

Tuesday 29 April 2008

Hello again

I feel like doing another poem.
So here goes.

My school routine is stupid. It's silly, daft and gay.
To catch my bus I have to wake at half five every day.
I do not mean the evening, as that would be just fine.
I mean the morning 'cos my bus comes at six thirty-nine.
I get my ticket every day for three pounds fifty pence;
You don't need to be good at maths to see that makes no sense.
And if all that is not enough to make me rather surly,
We're dumped at school (now this ain't cool) forty minutes early!
My sister's at another school; by eight thirty, alas,
She's catches her school bus. By then, I'm sitting down in class!
About two hours, each way, each day, I wish it was no more
Especially as I get home at roughly half past four!
Unfairly treated just because I live so far from town -
I somehow doubt that I'll get any help from Gordon Brown...

A little poem about John

John Mahon is a kid in my class at school, by the way.
He has given his full consent for this frankly insulting poem, so don't say "Oh, how can you be so cruel to him?", because he finds it funny.
So shut it and let me tell my poem.

Ahem.

I have a friend called John, he's short and thin and specky
And everyone runs away from him because he is a trekkie.
He knows Will Shatner's middle name in Star Trek: it's Tiberius,
We look at him in disbelief and say: "You can't be serious!"
He really does love Star Trek. You can see it in his eyes.
If he really loves it that much, why doesn't he live on the Enterprise?

Well, my moment of glory is over for today.
Cheerio.

Sunday 27 April 2008

5 Words that Sound Onomatopoeic but Aren't

Spasm
Snore
Grunt
Flick
Flip

Thursday 24 April 2008

I am bored.

I am in a lesson (I will not specify which) and I am doing absolutely nothing.
At all.
Nichts.
Nada.
Zipperoo.
Thusly, I am bored. So I decided to talk to you. You being the readers.

Ahem.
Hello there readers.
How are you?
Really? So that cleared up? Good for you. How's Roger?
Never! He actually did it? And how is the widow?
Aw, I'm sad to hear that.
Really? Well, good for you. Keep going, be brave.
Of course I am. You know me.
Ha ha.
Well, good to know you're still going.
Okay.
See you soon.
Bye now.
Byee!

-CLICK-

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

Tuesday 15 April 2008

I warn you - this is the ramble to end all rambles! Careful now...

Hello.
Sorry about the lateness of this entry - I imagine you few loyal readers of this blog (approximately zero - blogging to oneself is a sign of madness) as the wife or girlfriend in those typical scenes where the other half has been out all night. (Bear with me, I am a very metaphorical person (not literally - I do actually exist).)
So anyway, I can see you lot as the disgruntled missus standing in the hall with a hand on your hip, glaring at me, the metaphorical drunk man staggering into the doorway, mumbling things under his breath.

Sorry I'm late, love.
Y'shee, I was at that pub down Union Road, y'know, the one with the landlord with a funny name like Shane or summat (or was it Shaun? Ah bugger it, sh'not important) when the Preshident of th'United Shtatesh walked in and he said to me, he said, "Will," he said, the bloody Preshident, he says to me, he says, "Will, I need you to drink as much beer as physhic'lly poshible, otherwise er, something with, erm, bombs, no NUCLEAR BOMBS would y'know, BOOOM and kill lotsh of people. I swear, love, I had to get plashtered in order to shave millions and thousandsh of people from th'big bombs an' that. Don't divorsh me.

Back to reality (which is a shame because I was enjoying writing that).
The truth is that I forgot about this blog for a while. Shimple as that.

-WARNING: I HAVE TYPED THIS WARNING AFTER TYPING THE MAJORITY OF THE TEXT BELOW, AND WARN THAT IT DOES START TO SOUND OBSESSIVE AT TIMES. BEAR WITH ME. I HAVE A PHENOMENAL PASSION FOR SILENT COMEDIES. ALL I REQUEST IS THAT YOU EITHER STRUGGLE THROUGH THE FOLLOWING RAMBLE, AFTER WHICH I BELIEVE YOU WILL FEEL ENLIGHTENED, OR YOU JUST STOP READING AND LOOK AT SOME PORN.-

Right. Now, I was going to talk about something, but it's escaped me. Oh yeah - I went to Louth today (well, yesterday, as it's about half past midnight as I'm writing this) and I watched two silent comedies at a proper cinema with an actual live improvised piano accompaniment and it was absolutely superb. I love silent films, so this was a super big treat for me, but even my dad, who isn't that keen on it in general, said that he was 'pleasantly surprised' which was pleasantly surprising for me.
The silent comedy guru, Paul Merton, says that these films can only be truly appreciated on a big screen, viewed by hundreds of people to share the laughter, accompanied by an improvisational pianist. Not only that, but he says that every silent film hater that he has ever known has been instantly converted into a silent film lover after watching a proper cinema screening of Laurel & Hardy, Charlie Chaplin, 'Buster' Keaton or Harold Lloyd. I agree completely and utterly. And totally. I wanted to take a friend of mine, Ross, to see the films as well, but I forgot to ask him. He hates silent films. I want to remedy this sacrilege. But alas, my terrible memory fails me again. Damn it.

I saw a silent Laurel and Hardy short called 'Big Business' (pure hilarity throughout - it was comedic genius) and a feature length silent comedy by Buster Keaton called 'The Cameraman' (a little slow at the start, but it soon escalated into nauseatingly funny comedy). The evening was eye-opening. I have only seen silent films on television up to this point, and although that is, itself, enough to convince me that comedy has never surpassed those monochrome masterpieces, seeing it in its natural habitat, up on a big screen as God intended, seemed to make the films greater and the humour genuinely funnier.
This was the reason canned laughter was introduced to sitcoms - we feel more able to laugh if we know that other people have also found it funny. Of course, we look at canned laughter with distaste nowadays, as we know that a lot of it is artificial, and that the laughs we are hearing were for something completely different and presumably funnier. But when you are able to look around and see the other people sat around you, reacting as you are, that sense of unity is truly wonderful. And it genuinely adds to the experience.

'Big Business' is considered to be the best of any of the Laurel & Hardy films, sound or silent. I agree. I have been a big fan of Stan and Ollie for years and years, but I only saw their films with sound. I now realise, with astonished glee, that their silent films were a lot better. I won't explain the entirety of the film, as that would add unnecessary length to an already long blog post, but I ask you to view it (I think it's on YouTube, or Google Video).

'The Cameraman', a Buster Keaton film, was also fantastically funny. It got a louder applause that 'Big Business', and yet Buster himself didn't like it. It just shows how much of a perfectionist he was. Again, I just recommend you find a way of watching it yourself (as a feature-length, I doubt you will be able to find the film in its entirety, instantly viewable, on the 'net. Just rent it. Please. You will not regret it). It has a really well-trained monkey in it. It looks like it is actually acting! If that isn't a killer reason to see anything, I don't know what is.

You just don't get comedy of that brilliance any more.
Now I have upset myself. I don't want to do any more blog.
Sniff.

Thursday 27 March 2008

Halloo again citizens of t'internet

Hello.
I'm back, after around two weeks of forgetting to post anything on this blog.
Here is a picture I am currently working on when I can be bothered:

It's based on that steampunk style that I discovered not too long ago and love deeply, where modern-day objects, or futuristic gadgets, are given the aesthetics (and sometimes the actual technology) to make it look as if it was created during the Victorian era, when technology was limited to gears and sprockets and pistons and steam power. The result is a delightfully retro-futuristic style that appeals to me greatly.
However, that apparently does not mean that I devote every second of my time to working on this picture. Quite the opposite, as a matter of fact. It has been days since I last worked on it, and I can't find the motivation to continue.
Don't ask. My mind is a wierd place that even I don't understand.
Or is that what my mind wants me to think? Aha! 'Tis all a conspiracy. After all, my mind literally makes me think. What's to stop it from making me think what it wants? Maybe my mind has all sorts of hidden agendas and plots for the future, but I can't figure it out because I need my mind to figure it out and my mind will want to cover it up, whatever 'it' is...

In hindsight, that is a rather silly notion.
Fun, though. And it really pads out my entry.
Wait, that sounded really wrong, and I thusly apologise. But what a fantastic euphemism!

And on that bombshell, it's time to say goodbye.
But I won't.

Wednesday 12 March 2008

Hang on, I've got something...

I have just remembered that I have found out how to put my Flash animations on YouTube. Look for an animation called 'Elderberries'. It's just a lip sync experiment, but it's rather fun. It might be on the video bar to the left.

View it!

Over and out.

Just padding out the blog a bit.

I'll level with you.

I am just posting this to make the page seem a bit more filled out. I have not prepared anything interesting to say.

Then again, the very first post was rather long, yet very good (if I do say so myself), and that was one hundred percent improvised. Perhaps if I keep bashing out whatever keyboard letters my fingers land on, guided by my mind, my stream of consciousness will provide you with an entertaining post.
Hmmm... let's see...


Nope, I've got nothing. Writer's block, I suppose.
Ah, well. Sorry about that. I may as well end this post then.

Until next time...

Tuesday 11 March 2008

Welcome to the mind of William Wivell. Please drive carefully.

Good day blog-gogglers.
Today is a momentous day indeed. For today is the launch of my latest blog.
Now, the less enlightened of you may be scratching your skulls, mumbling: 'what do you mean by latest?'.
Well, I am also doing a blog about a bit of schoolwork I am doing. Like a project diary. I customised it, and it entertains people weekly with a fine blend of funny images, subtle criticisms indirectly aimed at the school and wacky videos.
This blog will be exactly the same.
Well, not really. I wanted to do a blog where I didn't need to do an hour of classwork in order to have an excuse to create a post. A blog where my imagination could really be let loose. If you look at my attempts to restrain it in my previous blog, think about how what damage that imagination could do if released.
Millions could die!
By die, of course, I mean laugh.

So set your funny-bones to side-split, your watch to Greenwich Mean Time, and your face in plaster as we travel further than anyone has ever travelled before... into my brain!

Oh, wait. That's not that far, really. Probably a few centimetres, if you're standing next to me. Ah, and you will have to be shrunk down to smaller than a pea, won't you? So it will seem like miles! It's all relative, you see.

Some of the more astute of you may have noticed that I have a tendency to ramble. Fear not; just let the blog entries engulf you like a tidal wave of molasses, covering you in sticky goodness until you are as one with the molasses (there was actually a tidal wave of molasses in Boston, America many years ago. A factory burst, or something).

As you were.
I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!