Quote of the 'Week'

"Men will always be mad, and those who think they can cure them are the maddest of all."
Voltaire
Discovering that someone has commented on one of my blogs is such a joyous feeling. Hint, bloody hint!

Sunday 24 January 2010

A good ol' fashioned movie review. Jus' like mama used to make

I went to see Avatar in 3D on Saturday. It was good.
And yes, that is an understatement. To make any attempt to successfully put into words the awesomeness of that film would be ultimately futile, so I'm simply not bothering.
Impressed? Yes, now you mention it. I was, rather, yes. Not disappointing at all. No, sirree.

Not only was the three-dimensionality of it all just magnificent, the CGI itself was beyond belief and the story, despite mild slatings from obsessive critics, really wasn't bad at all. I tended to get carried away with watching how things in the foreground really seemed nearer than things in the background to really scrutinise the effects and the story (at one point, I took off the glasses just so that I wasn't being distracted by the 3D - the CGI suddenly struck me as stupendously brilliant), but I suppose that's more my fault than the movie's.
The ideas and the imagination of the film is on a scale few films can ever hope to match. I particularly liked how every species of creature on Pandora was compatible with each other. They all had these neural tentacle things that could connect with those of another, regardless of species, so that they could 'merge' minds. They were essentially inter-species organic USB plugs, and it's a brilliant idea.
Oh, and there are some amazing scenes with some mechas (massive robot suits that the pilot controls from a cockpit - think The Matrix trilogy, or Aliens), which were brilliant enough without appreciating the link between them and Sigourney Weaver. Which I did. Why? Because I'm passionate about movies.

Really, just see Avatar if you haven't already. Where - and when - else are you going to get to see it in 3D? Those polarised glasses only work with the special projection system at the cinema - you can't get a 3D DVD, unless you want to suffer the indignity of using the dated blue-and-red headache-tastic technique of the Neanderthals (there's an inadvertent and hilarious image - a Neanderthal with old 3D specs).

I'll leave you with that thought.

Food for thought

Listen up, world.
Take life. Weigh up its pros and its cons. Then cheer the f**k up!

That's all I have to say on that matter.

Would you like chips with that? (giggle)

Hello there, people with little else better to do. I am the cure!

I just saw an advert promoting an online casino. Now, the way I see it, advertising your online casino with a combination of 'potential' winnings and slick special effects is a bit paradoxical. Their main selling point is that you, the viewer, could possibly, if you were really lucky, win some money. But they gloss over the statistics because they don't really do much to promote the website. So roll up! Roll up! Over 2,000 people won money last year! Now, that sounds like a lot, but when you consider how many people must have played in that year, and that anything from 1p upwards counts as 'winning money', you realise that the statement is vague and misleading. Or it could be that I'm horrifically wrong - you are very likely to win money, and those 2,000 winners are a large fraction of the overall yearly players. But hold on - if the website's so good, why so few players? That makes no sense, now, does it? Must be a bit of a scam. Shock! Horror!

Anyroad, I'm drifting slightly from my initial point. They make these claims, claims that sound optimistic and encouraging if you're an idiot (or a gambler - oh, I see now), but spend inordinate amounts of moolah on the advert itself. They are pretty much waving money in your face.
"Look at all this cash! Where did all this come from, I wonder? It can't be yours, because we're literally giving away cash here at SuperTiltCasinoJackpot.com!"
I would put more faith in my potential success rate when playing on their site if they made the advert with National Accident Helpline actors, the roulette wheel from the 'Go For Broke' board game and edited it together on Windows Movie Maker.

Sunday 17 January 2010

Telly and Toilet

It's a Sunday, there's nothing on the telly, I have my laptop on my lap (rather appropriately) and so the time has come for me to add another contribution to my pointless, yet perpetually expanding, blog.

Well, I say there's nothing on the telly. I haven't checked. Let's see.
Guide...
EastEnders... God, no.
Masters Snooker... I'm already within swiping distance of going comatose, thank you very much.
Columbo: An Exercise in Fatality... mmmmm, nahhh. Maybe as a last resort. Wait, this is the last resort. Scratch that, then.
T4: The Simpsons... bingo! Ooh, and a classic! That'll do! I can enjoy its wit whilst continuing this blog!

Right, onwards!
Have you ever noticed how moments of inspiration seem to mostly happen in the bathroom? I can be on the loo, or brushing my teeth, or having a shower, and I'll inevitably start to daydream furiously. I couldn't even start to come up with the notions I do in the bathroom right now, because my brain simply isn't working as quickly. I think it's the solitary sense of security and peace, the sense that as long as you're in there, you are entitled to be completely alone, and the bathroom is the only room in the house that has that sense.

...

Erm... I can't think of anything else to say on that matter.
Well, point proven.

Bye, then.

Monday 4 January 2010

Edwin Numblehaye's Buoyant Trouser Press

Happy New Year!

I decided not to put 'Happy New Year' as the title, because that would have been the obvious thing to do, as would a rant about Christmas (I got mine out of the way already), and far be it from me to conform to your petty little unwritten guidelines and expectations. 'Edwin Numblehaye's Buoyant Trouser Press' sounds like a better title for my first blog post of 2010. Even if it doesn't make any sense.

My friend Ross Milnes has gorn and gotten himself in the blogging game. See it.

Right. Next on the agenda, laptops. Those foldy things that beep and light up and you can do spreadsheets on them. Yes. Well. I have one of those things now. A Dell Something-Or-Other Superfandango 4002.6 Autowotsit-Deluxe or something. It's about the size and thickness of a science textbook, but without the equations and chemical reactions and whatnot and I like it very much and I can do vlogs on them. The problem that I had in the past was that I had to wait for a convenient time to film a vlog when there was nobody around, and I could be sure that I wouldn't be interrupted or listened to. Now, I can gallivant off to wherever I see fit and vlog till my nose starts bleeding if I want to. However, I'm not a dedicated vlogger, not one of those fellows who religiously posts a new video up every day, so there will still be long pauses between some videos where I just can't find the time to vlog. At least now I have ruled out a lack of privacy as a deterrent. So yeah.

I logged on to Blogger with nothing, and have left with a blog containing... essentially nothing. Sorry.

I'll put more effort into the next post. I promise.

In the meantime, here's a picture of a kitten.

I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!